At first, it looks like initiative — he’s researching, ordering supplements, adjusting his diet, working out more. But after a while, you realize he’s not sharing what he’s doing.
That’s often how men handle worry: research replaces vulnerability.
If they can solve it privately, they never have to admit it existed. It’s a kind of control — logic over fear.
The downside is that secrecy keeps the shame alive. The more effort he hides, the less connected he feels to you. Every “I’ve got it handled” becomes another brick between you.
If you see this pattern, don’t rush to dismantle it.
Instead, open the door without taking the wrench from his hand.
“I love that you’re trying to understand this. Do you want me in on it, or do you just want me to listen?”
That gives him a choice — not an interrogation.
When he can include you without losing agency, honesty comes easier.
Sometimes the fix he really needs isn’t a new supplement or trick; it’s the reminder that he doesn’t have to do this by himself.